Alright folks, I promised an “Ask Bruce” email, and here she is, copy and pasted right from yours truly. This topic may seem taboo, or even degenerate, but remember that love is blind. And sometimes has a weird auto-erotic asphyxiation thing.
Wingman News, tentatively called as it is, stands as the last bastion of hope for famous people who’s lives would have greatly benefitted my interruption. Sure, it may seem like a ploy t make myself sounds awesome, but it’s not. It’s a ploy to make myself sound NECESSARY. These people need help, and I’m here to deliver. Let’s roll out- NICK SWARDSON- So I won’t pretend to know much about movies other than they act as a great [...]
My first wing of the season and the guy wants me to help him get a Republican. Not the fun pseudo christian but actually closet-freakish kind, or the rich oil tycoon type either. We’re talking full-on, crazy eyes, TEA PARTY type. So what’s a guy to do? Well, I’ll be creating a fun guide for all of you masochists that desire to go down this road based on how successful some of my ploys work on this wingjob. I just [...]
Hurricanes, Earthquakes, Thunderstorms, Real Housewives Of New Jersey…. lately the East Coast has looked like the end of the world really will hit us in the 2012 year. I still can’t figure out how the mayans managed to predict the coming of Real Housewives, but I’m glad they were smart enough to declare it the end of the world. So what’s a young single socialite to do when every useable weekend gets hammered by catastrophe? They follow this quick [...]
Alliteration. Sure fire sign of three things when someone uses alliteration: A) They’re an arrogant English Professor who was shat on their entire lives for having a stupid major and are taking it out on the world with fancy word-things B) They’re an arrogant English student who’s professor shat on them for following in their stupid major footsteps and are taking it out on the world with fancy word-things. C) You got laid. And have a thing for fancy [...]
Ladies and gentlemen, I have been gone for too long. I’d promise you that it wont happen again, but instead, I think what needs to happen is all you hemp-loving hippies need to stop occupying wall street and start occupying the dating scene so I can get more work. Although the drought did afford me certain life-unaffecting experiences, I’m happy to be back to being what I was meant to be: a Professional Wingman, and your personal dating saviour. [...]
Alright folks, I promised an “Ask Bruce” email, and here she is, copy and pasted right from yours truly. This topic may seem taboo, or even degenerate, but remember that love is blind. And sometimes has a weird auto-erotic asphyxiation thing.
Wingman News, tentatively called as it is, stands as the last bastion of hope for famous people who’s lives would have greatly benefitted my interruption. Sure, it may seem like a ploy t make myself sounds awesome, but it’s not. It’s a ploy to make myself sound NECESSARY. These people need help, and I’m here to deliver. Let’s roll out- NICK SWARDSON- So I won’t pretend to know much about movies other than they act as a great [...]
My first wing of the season and the guy wants me to help him get a Republican. Not the fun pseudo christian but actually closet-freakish kind, or the rich oil tycoon type either. We’re talking full-on, crazy eyes, TEA PARTY type. So what’s a guy to do? Well, I’ll be creating a fun guide for all of you masochists that desire to go down this road based on how successful some of my ploys work on this wingjob. I just [...]
Hurricanes, Earthquakes, Thunderstorms, Real Housewives Of New Jersey…. lately the East Coast has looked like the end of the world really will hit us in the 2012 year. I still can’t figure out how the mayans managed to predict the coming of Real Housewives, but I’m glad they were smart enough to declare it the end of the world. So what’s a young single socialite to do when every useable weekend gets hammered by catastrophe? They follow this quick [...]
Alliteration. Sure fire sign of three things when someone uses alliteration: A) They’re an arrogant English Professor who was shat on their entire lives for having a stupid major and are taking it out on the world with fancy word-things B) They’re an arrogant English student who’s professor shat on them for following in their stupid major footsteps and are taking it out on the world with fancy word-things. C) You got laid. And have a thing for fancy [...]
Everyone likes to coin the term “wingman” in pop culture references. Here’s the Deal: Neil Patrick Harris is a damn sexy man, but he’s not a REAL wingman. So please, folks, let this video show you what happens when too many people ask me about a fictional character and thus forces me to try methods best left for the dangerously inept. It’s Social Darwinism.
Hey folks. As promised, after being spurned on by the lunacy of someone asking me how to have “the buttsecks” with their girlfriend, I decided to take it upon myself to answer this question once and for all… …for those of you who don’t know how. I’m still amazed that this is something I have to answer, seeing as I figured every sane man who’s had sex before knows how to manage this. Guess we can’t all be winners. [...]
There are just some things that will forever astound me in this profession. Granted, I get asked a lot of stupid questions, and I am forced to help people through things I imagine to be trivial. Things like: Bruce, how do I talk to girls? Try using that hole in your face, the one you’re busy being stupid out of. Bruce, how do I kiss a girl? The same way you kiss your rosary beads, but with less religious zeal [...]
Great news for all the men of the world! It looks like things on the Greyscale are moving up! As a quick recap for those of you too lazy to read older posts, Sasha Grey announced retirement from porn and I was devastated. As any man should be, of course. I mean, just look at her…. The truth of the matter is, even though men may be less complicated than women in a relationship, we’re far more [...]
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Email me HERE. After all, you wouldn't call the fire department if you needed brain surgery.
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